A kiss of heaven and hell
by AGirlIntheGalaxy
Summary: Just a silly idea I had about a possible destiel conclussion. Heaven is running out of power and it needs all the angels it can get. That includes Castiel. Out of time, Dean decides to finally confess his feelings...


**A KISS OF HEAVEN AND HELL.**

Heaven has reached its critical point.

The situation, that was fragile for so much time, had finally reached the point were became unsustainable.

Even with Jack doing all on his hand to help his celestial family, they were no longer capable of keeping heaven running.

The souls, the few small miracles that they still performed time to time were in danger.

Heaven needed angels, all the angels it could get. Every single one of them. Which obviously meant, Castiel had to go as well.

When Castiel told the Winchester he just received silence in return. And Dean's back, while the hunter walked away. And a week of silence, of a drunk, broken man who never knew how to say the things he was supposed to say.

Dean and Sam went with Castiel to the playground where the gates of heaven were placed.

There, Naomi, Anael and Ishir were waiting for the last angel on earth.

The youngest Winchester was the first one to say his farewell. He hugged the angel and thanked him for everything he had done for them. They smiled to each other and Sam took his steps back, giving room to his brother.

Dean approached in silence. He stood very close to the angel and softly touched his cheek. He leaned in, but a Castiel's hand stopped him, two cold fingers against his lips. Dean thought he understood.

Castiel couldn't look at him.

Dean gulped.

"I love you." He said, his eyes blurred by tears struggling for not coming out.

"I know." Castiel replied, almost in a whisper. Eyes on the ground.

"You are not gonna say it to me?"

Silence.

"Castiel" Dean demanded. "Cas come on…" his pain reflexed, but his anger was a worthy fighter and did everything to win over the ache on his chest. To avoid getting hurt. "Castiel… please."

Silence.

The anger took more and more room. "Castiel, come on, say it." his hands rested on his hips, while his eyes wandered around the playground. That was enough time. "Cas… Castiel, say it back! You're supposed to say it back!" He couldn't help but yell.

Cas was going to leave, forever, and he was yelling at him.

"No." The angel said. His voice cracked.

Dean understood why he couldn't talk. But he didn't understand why when we decided to do it, he chose the wrong words.

"Cas say it back!" He demanded.

"I can't!" Now Castiel was screaming back. His blue eyes filled with pain, looked for the first time at the hunter who still didn't understand.

"Why?" He asked, tired of begging.

"What is the point now?" Castiel replied. He took a deep breath and blinked twice before spoke again. "Goodbye, Dean."

And he walked away, toward Heaven's gates. That place that for over a millennium he called home.

That place that, one day, he stopped calling home. Because he got another.

Dean looked at the sky, Sam behind him, wondering if he should intervene.

But the older brother made his sibling's choice easy. He just ran after Cas.

When he reached the angel, he just turned him around, and without any warning beside the decade of unspoken tension, he kissed Castiel like there was no tomorrow, because, in fact, there wasn't.

It was a kiss of rage. It was their first and their last, and that's no fair. Not for them, not for anyone who ever care about them.

It was a kiss of pain. With Dean lips crushing against Cas', pressing hard. Hands gripped around the angel's neck. Castiel buried his fingernails on Dean's jacket, like it was his bare skin. Like he would have done if they had a chance. But they never did.

"You, coward son of a bitch." Dean managed to say, without break the kiss, teeth clenched.

Their lips fought, instead of love. Their eyes shut strongly.

Their mouths crushed together moved without sense, their tongues had a battlefield for their own and their teeth met again and again, loudly, letting they and everyone there that this is it. That years of longing can be resumed in one kiss.

A kiss that tasted like heaven and hell. Like fire and whisky.

A kiss that tasted like Dean's blood, from that first Castiel's bite. And Castiel's blood as well, from Dean's response.

It had the taste of his tears too. Unable to stay where they were, never mind how strongly shut their eyes were. Burning tears, rolling down, meeting in that mess that is called a kiss. Hot, angry, salty tears of the last time.

Dean won't let go. He knew that at the moment he took a break to breathe, Castiel is going to be taken away from him. So, he stayed there, gripping tighter, kissing harder. But eventually, he started to feel the emptiness. Like a breeze. Soft, lightly until Castiel was no longer between his arms, nor sight.

The hunter left himself fall into the ground, kneeling with all the weight of his pain and the angel's on his shoulders. Now Sam ran to him. The youngest Winchester comforted his brother, tried to get him up, but it was useless.

"Cas… Cas come on!" Dean cried out, breathless, his hands crossed tightly on his stomach. He was afraid the pain might kill him. "Castiel!" He called, hopeless. "I know you can hear me, you, selfish bastard!"

Sam finally managed to get him out of there.

Almost a month later, Dean, sober and almost calmed sat on his bed. His eyes on the ceiling.

He closed his eyes for a second, trying to find the right words.

"Cas… I… I know you hear me. You always do. I'm sorry… I'm sorry for the things I said to you the last time we saw each other. And I'm sorry for all the awful things I said during those ten years you were with us. And I'm sorry it ended like this." He made a pause and looked at his shaking hands. "And I'm truly sorry it never started… because…" He sighed. "I feel so guilty about all the times I let you down, for all those stupid things that hurt you. For all the suicidal missions, for all the girls… for all the times that I didn't tell you how I felt about you. For not kissing you before… for not…" He took a deep breath and wiped the tears on his cheeks. "I hope you can forgive me. And I want you to know that I understand. It is what it is, right? Life has never been easy for us, and I guess this is just part of the job. And I love you. Please, don't ever forget that. And thank you, for being the best part of my life."

He stood up, closed his eyes for a second and went out of his room.

Sam and Mary were waiting for him to join them in their next hunt.

* * *

 _If you wanna punch me, feel free to do it through comments._


End file.
